Memoirs

Nothing stops the day like a crying baby. This is impotence - I can do nothing productive, only pray for you to stop.

You didn't go to sleep without a fight tonight. This is unusual... usually you go down without a peep. Tonight you were a loosened jar of screams. High pitched wails that break my heart. Sweetheart, I've done all I can do... the rest is up to you. Time to dust off the 5-10-15 rule. I let you cry for five minutes. Then I go in and settle you down. Then I leave and you wail again. I leave you for ten minutes. This is harder. I tidy. I put away things. I keep busy until the ten minute mark has passed. Then I go in and settle you down again. Your sheets are damp from your tears. I dry you off. I give you some Gripe Water. I do not pick you up. Sweetpea, it's bedtime. You have to stay in bed. I leave and let you cry for fifteen minutes. It... is... so.. hard. Then on the fourteen minute mark you settle down. You find your thumb. You fall asleep.

Oh thank the Gods!

An hour later I crawl into your room and listen to make sure you're still breathing. You are. Thank God. I love you.


You lied to me for the first time today. There is sweet innocent sin in your heart now. I saw you pick up some fluff off the ground. You caught my gaze and bundled your treasure in your hands, then stuck it under your neck for extra insurance.

"Is that fluff you have?"
"No. No. No." you answer me.
I wander over. "Can I see what's in your hand then?"
The jig is up and you know it. "Suff." You say, handing me the fluff. You knew you had it all along.


You like to run away from me after your bath and hide in your 'tent'. All I saw this time was a naked flash and a small bum quickly crawling into the apex of the tent's mouth.

You can tell when people don't have babies around daily. You toss a used diaper they're way and they recoil. There is one sitting by my mouse pad right now.