Literal, not Metaphorical.

Today was a poopy day. The poopiest in recent history. Woke up to find Longlegs with poop up his back and down his legs... poop like that I haven't enjoyed since he was an infant. It was more than mere baby wipes could handle. I hosed him off in the bathtub... I know I should have endeavored to wipe most of him off and then washed him in the tub but it was first thing in the morning, I'm groggy...tired... a little dizzy still... so I had him stand in the bathtub while I watched an unreal amount of poop fall down in gobs and slide down the drain.

Then, right before their afternoon nap... Sweetpea pooped the same way. Up the back, down the legs. I peeled her diaper back a few centimeters before I put it back on, peeled her out of her poopy cloths, carried her to the tub, peeled off the diaper and replayed the same bath hose-down.

Got them up from their nap two hours later and was greeted with the same poo-splosion on/in both children! Up the back, the front and down the legs.

I'm not naturally prone to outbursts but I nearly had a WTF moment!!!

Peel them out of their nap jammies... carry them both to the tub.... hose them both down again.

Geez Luis.... next time I'm tempted to use a coupon for a "Buy One Get One Free" from McDonalds and treat me and the kids with a meal out.... remind me of this day. Not only will we all eat healthier but I'll save on my water bill too.