Sunday, December 14, 2008

Maybe I need a good spanking.

One of those days where I feel like the world's worst mother. Ever have those?

I spanked my boy. He was being quite obstinate and after about half an hour of screaming in bed at the top of his lungs and keeping his sister awake and my headache growing - I marched in there and told him if he wasn't going to be quiet in bed then he was going to get a spanking. And then because I said it - I followed through.

He was quiet afterwords. And I feel like dirt. Lower than low. I laid a hand to my boy. Now granted, I was spanked many a time in my childhood and I think I turned out fine, fair and usually pretty mellow and gentle... but it doesn't stop me from feeling like a monster. I try really, really hard to not spank. We use the "naughty chair" and do time outs. Anything to help me avoid spanking. My brain tells me I'm being loving and disciplining him properly. My heart tells me I'm an abusive monster.

I've spent a good twenty minutes crying about it, actually.

If the punishment is harder on the parent than it is on the child... is it worth doing?

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